They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize
