Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize