i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
