yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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