I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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