2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Randomize
