how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
