Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Randomize
