next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Randomize
