fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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