Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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