This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
