Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
