highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
porn star boner night. come get it.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
its liver damage thursday
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
