Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Randomize
