No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
