So drunk its hurt
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
It's Friday. Sex?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
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