Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
