when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize