Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
