Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Randomize
