is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
