someone owes me an orgasm
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize