he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
