if you like me you must not know who I am
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
