Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
she peed on how many people?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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