All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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