porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Randomize
