She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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