Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
my shit smells like andre
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
