you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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