there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize