It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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