took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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