69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
