i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
