So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize