Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
