apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize
