uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
