plz talk dirty to me
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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