So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
