what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
