They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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