if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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