"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
