I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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