Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
