i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
