I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
