It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
