So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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