just tell him i said nine months
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
