If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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