4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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