You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
