Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
