I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
