I puked a lego.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
