I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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